The Journey up to now (Oct 30, 2010)

Well let me see... Like I planned I enlisted into the Navy.  Sadly after only a week of training I am medically separated due to issues with my spine.  I was in medical separation for almost 2 weeks before I was able to be sent home.

After getting back home, I went through a small depression.  At night I would cry before falling asleep.  A feeling of failure and being incomplete fell over me for about two weeks.  Thankfully one of my best friends and coven brothers came back down to live with my family and me.  He's been a savior in some ways.  He's helped with picking my spirits up and reminding me of the bigger picture.

With being here there was a little excitement.  There was a strong chance of moving back to Tucson, AZ.  It would have been a perfect move.  We all know the area, I was going to get back into massage therapy school and take community classes on the side.  My coven bro' was going to get back into school, etc.  It was really going to turn things around.  But sadly that fell through the cracks.  So obviously there is a reason for the move not going through.  Plus side is my coven sis' and her baby will be moving out there and staying with us too.  It'll be a full house for sure, but absolutely wonderful.  Full of love and joy.  The Angels are looking out for us that is for sure.

Now the time has come for me to figure out what it is I am going to do.  Will I stay here?  Will I go?  Should I go, where?  I am strongly leaning to NY or DC.  Both places I've lived and know well.  NYC right now is the strongest contender.  But there are still a few more conversations that need to be had before that is a set plan.

Anyway that is the latest.  On the side I've been doing "Tarot-A-Day" on my facebook page.  I'm thinking about maybe doing a YouTube channel for it also.  It keeps me busy and also helps me focus on my psychic skill set.

Love & Light

So.. I started reading this book..

Drawing Down the Moon by Margot Adler

            I have been a self declared Wiccan since the mid 1990's.  In 2004 a dedicant ceremony was performed by an HP (high priestess) for me.  I have studied the crafter for 14 years and find myself learning more and more about 'The Craft's' history.as of late.  When I was young the idea of gods and goddesses, magick, and spirits are what was interesting.  Now that I'm older, 29, the history of it has become so important.

           The book I recently picked up has had 3 editions (1979, 1986, and 2006).  The 1986 edition was republished with an updated Appendix in 1997. 

           While I find some pages to be difficult to read than others every bit of information is valuable.  The book goes into a deep rich history of a faith and a belief that has existed when cave paintings were a way of communicating.  The faith and religion has been called many names; been practiced in secret and in public.



   I am still reading the book and when I'm finished I'll be writing a follow up entry.  For anyone who is looking for a honest perspective without a lot of smoke and mirrors, I would highly recommend this book.

Kinda feeling a bit lost...

As of right now I am in Tampa, FL.  I'm really enjoying it and as the day draws to a close, I realize how much I am going to dislike having to leave tomorrow.

I think about what will be waiting for me in Huntsville, Al, and I have to say, a whole lot of nothing.  Right now I am waiting to hear back from my Naval recruiter if my educational requirements qualify for the military.  It's a bit of a nail biter process.  I am currently not working and I need to know where I stand.

Part of me misses massage therapy.  I went to school for it. Graduated with good grades and everything.  My clients that came to the school really liked me and my class mates loved what I could do for them.  "Why am I not pursuing this??" I ask myself constantly.

I feel like I should get a massage just to become familiar with it again.  I can massage my butt off but I feel that I've forgotten some things.  Receiving massage usually helps trigger the memory in this respect.

Not gonna lie, but I'm a whee bit scared.  But I need to stop being scared and I just need to do it.

Make a decision...I've got two roads....now I just need to pick one....

Love this article...I'm probably gonna buy the book...

If you get a chance to check out this article.  It's about a writer who chose to go through a "dry spell" with regards to sex for a year... The name of the book is Chastened by Hephzibah Anderson.

The article should be easy to find through internet search.  My computer won't allow me to cut and post link. blah.

Coming to ahead...

I have noticed that all of life, seems, to be moving quickly.  Moving to an unseen focal point.  All the energy in the air has become so dense and feels as if it's becoming compacted.

All I see in my mind is a sphere like shape forming.  It's going to become more and more dense full of violent energy.  Everything will come to ahead and then it will explode (or release).

I feel like there are those of us that were created, born, came to this earth from other dimensions or spiritual planes to begin creating a spiritual net or blanket.  We are here to prepare for the fallout.  To essentially pick up the pieces that will fall.  Then we will rebuild and guide humanity and civilization into a new era.

Adam Lambert.... nom nom nom...

That is all...

A breaking point...

I don't know how to even explain or begin this.

Today was hard. Very very hard emotionally. I had encountered a memory and feelings from my past; from and event that took place 14 years ago.

It was all triggered by a man that I assisted at work. While at the check out counter, when I looked at him, I felt my heart begin to beat so fast I thought it was going to crack my sternum.

The I started having a mild panic attack. I kept the worst of contained until I was finished helping him. After he left I ran to the back room and started crying. I started shaking with intense fear.

The reason for the panic attack had to do with the gentleman looking almost exactly like a man who rapped me 14 years prior. Same blue eyes, same blonde hair, and even had the same type of face. This man was just a bit older (obviously).

I attempted to call one friend but unfortunately I received no response. Then I called my mother; I thought I'd find some comfort in such a call. Unfortunately after my conversation with her, I was left to my own resolve. I had to comfort myself. I had to talk myself down and pull myself together.

When the event happened, I was alone when I dealt with it. Funny thing, I was alone this time too.

Toxic Spill...

My lands are being torn down, my seas destroyed by arrogant human error, and for what?

In the end the greedy people will lose out on millions if not billions of dollars, but the damage that has been done, will take decades or more to mend. They strip away our beauty for temporary financial gain, for material luxuries without name; what is the point?

I ask to those with love and light in their hearts, to reach into the earth now with your divine energy and prayer for healing. Pray for peace and protection. As her children, let us help her grow a new.

Let us go from this:

To this:

Love&Light

Did someone order a side of Chaos to go with Monday?

Today, was quite frankly, ridiculous. I woke up feeling incredible, but due to very high stress situations surrounding my parents lives, it bled into my feel good mood. Needless to say sending my entire day into a dark oblivion.

I didn't get the Droid today like I hoped; everyone was either coming off very sharp tongued and rude or blaming me for something; then the one person who is my "calm" decides to go off on me too!

The evening was no better. My best friend proceeds to tell me that we can't hang out as much because he has fallen in love with me and then I have my parents yelling at me because THEY are having a bad day. I about threw in the towel, walk out into traffic, and get hit by a bus or something.

Finally I just looked up to the sky and said, "You know what, when I get home, I want happiness, joy, healing, love, compassion, and forgiveness...otherwise I've had it!", and within a few minutes, I talked to my parents.

Shortly there after, within 5 minutes, everything started getting better. There was forgiveness, understanding, and love. The Universe, God, heard me. For that I am grateful. Now...on to healing my friendship...

Shutter Island and my sister's homecoming...with my niece.

So my sister arrived this morning at 4 a.m.. I couldn't have been happier to be woken up by the sound of her and my niece coming in the front door.

Sadly I had to work today so I was not able to spend as much time with them as I would have liked, however, it was made up for when my friend Taurus Boy and I made dinner for the family.

It was chicken parmesan. And instead of breading the chicken then melting the parmesan on top, we mixed the bread and dried parmesan together. It was delicious. The veggie sides of yellow squash and zucchini were dripping with butter and garlic seasoning.

(I never realized how many gay boys there were at Target - while grocery shopping I felt like I was a slab of meat, good grief)

After dinner my sister took us out to go see "Shutter Island". The movie was extremely intense; although some time during the middle of the movie, you start to figure out what is going on. The suspense is enough to jolt you from reality though.

Well I bid adieu. Until next time :)

Tehehe...tax returns

Don't you just love it when your tax returns come in? It's like a savings account you didn't know you had. Then you find out you can buy exactly what you wanted :) Thank you IRS for contributing to my buying of a new computer :). Wheeee! Let the blogging now begin.

So...who here is interested in magic and psychic readings/dream interpretation?