My dream last night was a little, odd. I even woke up at 359am because of it. The dream repeated itself after I went to sleep again.
I was here in my current desert dwelling and my parents were moving (which they are). In the dream though its like I didn't exist or they were forgetting about me (ignoring me maybe?).
I saw them moving into their new house where they'll be moving to. Then the dream comes back to me. It has me running through an empy parking lot at a mall I visit frequently. As I'm running I see my parents driving quickly away from the mall and then the sky becomes pitchblack. I'm talking on my cell phone to someone (possibly Golden Boy). Then I see it, its a pitch black sand storm. I'm running faster and faster to get into the mall before it overtakes me.
I'm at least 15ft from the doors and I'm consumed in blasting sand. I can't see anything. I close my eyes and "guide" myself to the doors. I pull them open and I'm in the ladies department of Dillards or Macy's then it switches to the auto store of Sears. The Mall is as empty as the parking lot; with a few associates just standing around.
There was more to the dream before this, but unfortunately its escaping me.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
05/13/09
My dream last night had me with (we'll call him Golden boy). We were walking through a glade, a clearing of some kind. We were walking on a trail spaced with trees. The leaves were a light green and thin enough that when the light would hit them, the area we were in would glow.
We were talking, as if going over life's questions, etc. I started to comment on the weather and how it was very warm. He then turned to me and handed me a copper box. It was slightly large. Large enough where it took both hands supporting the sides, as he handed it to me. It gleamed when the sun hit it. He said if what I had wasn't enough, to let him know, and he could give me more.
After that I woke up. I recalled a dream a friend had about being given a box made of steel or iron and her's was locked.
After I woke up I felt like sh!t. I felt like I had this heavy black blanket of negative energy all over me. I didn't want to move. I wanted to die, to be quite honest. I did some energy work, rang my chimes to resonate positive sound vibration, and burned some sage. After that I felt better. When I pulled myself together I sent a txt to Golden Boy asking him if he is familiar with a copper box. He said, "Ummmm...well, oddly enough I have a box that my Oma made me and the entire thing is completely line with pennies (copper), so yeah."
After he confirmed the copper box, I started to cry and shake uncontrollably. Almost as if I was grieving. This very different feeling opened up in the center of my chest. It was unreal.
We were talking, as if going over life's questions, etc. I started to comment on the weather and how it was very warm. He then turned to me and handed me a copper box. It was slightly large. Large enough where it took both hands supporting the sides, as he handed it to me. It gleamed when the sun hit it. He said if what I had wasn't enough, to let him know, and he could give me more.
After that I woke up. I recalled a dream a friend had about being given a box made of steel or iron and her's was locked.
After I woke up I felt like sh!t. I felt like I had this heavy black blanket of negative energy all over me. I didn't want to move. I wanted to die, to be quite honest. I did some energy work, rang my chimes to resonate positive sound vibration, and burned some sage. After that I felt better. When I pulled myself together I sent a txt to Golden Boy asking him if he is familiar with a copper box. He said, "Ummmm...well, oddly enough I have a box that my Oma made me and the entire thing is completely line with pennies (copper), so yeah."
After he confirmed the copper box, I started to cry and shake uncontrollably. Almost as if I was grieving. This very different feeling opened up in the center of my chest. It was unreal.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
05/12/09
I am remembering my dreams again, well more vividly I should say. I had two dreams. The first I remembered, but then forgot. The second one had me running late for an event of some kind. While trying to get to the train station on time I hopped on a skateboard and was bookin' it. Then when I got to the train platform I realized my phone dropped out of my pocket some where.
I started to panic because my phone has all my contacts and personal info in it. But the train was coming and I could be late. I just figured I'd call the phone later to see who had it and if they'd return it.
I did "see" someone trying to access my phone, but they couldn't get the passcode correct. Which I was relieved for.
Then I woke up. So - lesson is probably to not make a big deal over something you can't do anything about. It is what it is and everything takes care of itself.
I started to panic because my phone has all my contacts and personal info in it. But the train was coming and I could be late. I just figured I'd call the phone later to see who had it and if they'd return it.
I did "see" someone trying to access my phone, but they couldn't get the passcode correct. Which I was relieved for.
Then I woke up. So - lesson is probably to not make a big deal over something you can't do anything about. It is what it is and everything takes care of itself.
Monday, May 11, 2009
In Touch...
Not until we are older do we often reflect on interactions we've had from our past.We review our past friendships, lovers and encounters. Random run-ins and timely coincidences.We may not always understand why certain people come into our lives, what purpose they serve, or why we went through an experience we did not plan for.What we do eventually process is the impact they did have on us, how ever slite. Sometimes the experience can be so profound that your encounter was only ever meant to happen the one time. Never to repeat itself.
I have encountered many different types of people. Some people with the biggest hearts and others with the shallowest souls. I've met people that have so much potential to positively affect this world but they choose to not and I've met others that would love to see it burn.Anyone who you see suffering from great or prolonged hatred, it is usually do to some extreme pain or hurt. A hurt that was not healed by either their own understanding of life or by the person who inflicted the pain.Something to understand is, that in life, you may never receive the apology you were looking for or hoping for.
We won't always hear the "I'm sorry" or be recognized by the person who caused us pain. The only person you can ever apologize to for any pain, is yourself. Healing the damage caused by another individual isn't always easy, but it's not impossible.
Most of the time the only reason we hold on to pain and wait for that apology, has to do with wanting that person to acknowledge us and the pain we feel they caused. We want them to admit they were wrong and to feel shame or embarassement. To tip the scales of power back into our favor. To have that person bend to our will once again; or to simply have them show us the respect that we gave to them. Through that acknowledgement we some how let go of hurt and are able to move on.
However depending on the severity of pain, an apology isn't always enough. The next step is then for us to deal with the emotion, or to have assistance from others.Don't discredit or discount anyone you meet. They may simply be here to help the healing process along. I guess where I'm going with this, is that pain isn't forever, hatred doesn't have to be the one thing that keeps you going, that loving with your heart open heals all wounds, and that taking every opportunity to meet people and find love, again and again, will see you through and make you a much better person; no matter where you are in your life.
There is two sides to everything: Emotional to Apathy, Hate to love, hurt to heal, "good" to "bad" (in however you view either of those words). They both exist to create an understanding of the other. When they say time heals all wounds. I'd have to disagree since time shares no relevance other than the relevance that we give it.
Healing begins with the individual who is hurt and wants to heal. When your bleeding because of a severe cut, the body begins the process of healing, but depending on the severity of the cut, YOU, have to take action to see that you heal properly and with the most care. If the situation is bad enough where you need help, you call for it. Then there are those situations that call for outside help to come and speak for you, when you can not. Healing starts with you, first and foremost. Not someone else. And when we are in need for additional love and healing, it comes...
I have encountered many different types of people. Some people with the biggest hearts and others with the shallowest souls. I've met people that have so much potential to positively affect this world but they choose to not and I've met others that would love to see it burn.Anyone who you see suffering from great or prolonged hatred, it is usually do to some extreme pain or hurt. A hurt that was not healed by either their own understanding of life or by the person who inflicted the pain.Something to understand is, that in life, you may never receive the apology you were looking for or hoping for.
We won't always hear the "I'm sorry" or be recognized by the person who caused us pain. The only person you can ever apologize to for any pain, is yourself. Healing the damage caused by another individual isn't always easy, but it's not impossible.
Most of the time the only reason we hold on to pain and wait for that apology, has to do with wanting that person to acknowledge us and the pain we feel they caused. We want them to admit they were wrong and to feel shame or embarassement. To tip the scales of power back into our favor. To have that person bend to our will once again; or to simply have them show us the respect that we gave to them. Through that acknowledgement we some how let go of hurt and are able to move on.
However depending on the severity of pain, an apology isn't always enough. The next step is then for us to deal with the emotion, or to have assistance from others.Don't discredit or discount anyone you meet. They may simply be here to help the healing process along. I guess where I'm going with this, is that pain isn't forever, hatred doesn't have to be the one thing that keeps you going, that loving with your heart open heals all wounds, and that taking every opportunity to meet people and find love, again and again, will see you through and make you a much better person; no matter where you are in your life.
There is two sides to everything: Emotional to Apathy, Hate to love, hurt to heal, "good" to "bad" (in however you view either of those words). They both exist to create an understanding of the other. When they say time heals all wounds. I'd have to disagree since time shares no relevance other than the relevance that we give it.
Healing begins with the individual who is hurt and wants to heal. When your bleeding because of a severe cut, the body begins the process of healing, but depending on the severity of the cut, YOU, have to take action to see that you heal properly and with the most care. If the situation is bad enough where you need help, you call for it. Then there are those situations that call for outside help to come and speak for you, when you can not. Healing starts with you, first and foremost. Not someone else. And when we are in need for additional love and healing, it comes...
Sunday, May 10, 2009
05/10/09 1110pm
Oh its been a rough couple of days. I've been on this emotional roller coaster of uncertainty.
Heck I'm even thinking of joining the military.
I've been dreaming, I know that much, but I'm choosing to not pay attention to them. Apparently I don't feel them worthy of my attention; which I should not feel that way. My dreams are usually always important. Even for their symbolism.
Things are going well with Stitch. Its funny. When we kiss I start to shake a little bit because I start to become nervous and my skin feels like electricity.
To be honest he scares me. In a really weird way. I can't quite explain that part.
I'm going to meet with a recruiter on Friday, so we'll see what happens... I'm hoping everything makes sense eventually. Cause I'm going to lose it soon.
Heck I'm even thinking of joining the military.
I've been dreaming, I know that much, but I'm choosing to not pay attention to them. Apparently I don't feel them worthy of my attention; which I should not feel that way. My dreams are usually always important. Even for their symbolism.
Things are going well with Stitch. Its funny. When we kiss I start to shake a little bit because I start to become nervous and my skin feels like electricity.
To be honest he scares me. In a really weird way. I can't quite explain that part.
I'm going to meet with a recruiter on Friday, so we'll see what happens... I'm hoping everything makes sense eventually. Cause I'm going to lose it soon.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
