About 8 years later...

It is 2019. I haven't  written in this blog since 2011.  I was in a relationship then. We broke up in December of that year. Some things don't work and the truth is, I should have stayed broken up with him.  The relationship was full of pain. The frustration and anger built between the two of us.

Since then I had a daughter with my best friend, we moved from Arizona to Florida, then from Florida I moved to Las Vegas and he moved to Kentucky.  A lot has changed, people have changed, I've changed. I keep a routine every day while I'm here. I go to work, I come home, repeat. I work the over night shift. I literally get off work and go back to work in the same day. I'm separated from my daughter and I really don't have much else going on for myself.

I recently met a man, named Rio, through my friend David. They are married and yet I am oddly drawn to Rio. A familiar and safe energy runs through him that I feel at home in.

At the moment I'm re-watching the Vampire Diaries.  It was such a good show the first couple of seasons. I think I miss it more for the nostalgia and what was happening in my life when it was on. To nostalgia.

6 months later...

Who would've known that 6 months ago I would have broken up with my boyfriend, 3 days later, get back together, then a week later move in with him.  He and I have been together for 8 months and this is the first long-term relationship I've ever had.

Today I had to take the TEAZ exam which will determine if I will get into the nursing LPN program and Brown Mackie college.  Sadly I read some reviews about the school here in Arizona.  Apparently back in April there were claims that one of the financial advisors, who is/was male, assaulted two female students and threatened the two women.

Come Monday I'll see where it goes.

Hahaha, soooooo

Okay I haven't written in awhile, and you know what?  That's okay.  I do what I want, lol.  But seriously it has been some time since I felt compelled to write out much.  A little update is I'm currently in school (once again) and working on getting into a good nursing program.  I will also be taking a herbalist course to be a certified herbalist :).  I am currently in a wonderful relationship and have found that I have a fear of relationships and not the people I'm with.  Relationships used to = settling down and establishing roots.  This is NOT the person I am.  I love to be able to pick up and go and be free flowing.

Luckily I have found someone who is willing to travel with me and pick up and go from place to place.  After I become further established in my studies I'm looking at studying abroad and I'll be taking him with me.  I'm thinking either Italia or Spain :).  I just need to get out of this country (U.S.A.).  While I do feel safe with regards to the current hostile issues in the world, I'm bored!  I need experience, I need culture, I feel like my soul is starving.  And while I'm an avid meditator (and masturbator, hah!) I need physical experience.

At the moment I am reading America's Four Gods by Paul Froese & Christopher Bader.  It's a very interesting read.  It brings a lot of concepts into view that I think a lot of people should consider and ponder.

The Journey up to now (Oct 30, 2010)

Well let me see... Like I planned I enlisted into the Navy.  Sadly after only a week of training I am medically separated due to issues with my spine.  I was in medical separation for almost 2 weeks before I was able to be sent home.

After getting back home, I went through a small depression.  At night I would cry before falling asleep.  A feeling of failure and being incomplete fell over me for about two weeks.  Thankfully one of my best friends and coven brothers came back down to live with my family and me.  He's been a savior in some ways.  He's helped with picking my spirits up and reminding me of the bigger picture.

With being here there was a little excitement.  There was a strong chance of moving back to Tucson, AZ.  It would have been a perfect move.  We all know the area, I was going to get back into massage therapy school and take community classes on the side.  My coven bro' was going to get back into school, etc.  It was really going to turn things around.  But sadly that fell through the cracks.  So obviously there is a reason for the move not going through.  Plus side is my coven sis' and her baby will be moving out there and staying with us too.  It'll be a full house for sure, but absolutely wonderful.  Full of love and joy.  The Angels are looking out for us that is for sure.

Now the time has come for me to figure out what it is I am going to do.  Will I stay here?  Will I go?  Should I go, where?  I am strongly leaning to NY or DC.  Both places I've lived and know well.  NYC right now is the strongest contender.  But there are still a few more conversations that need to be had before that is a set plan.

Anyway that is the latest.  On the side I've been doing "Tarot-A-Day" on my facebook page.  I'm thinking about maybe doing a YouTube channel for it also.  It keeps me busy and also helps me focus on my psychic skill set.

Love & Light

So.. I started reading this book..

Drawing Down the Moon by Margot Adler

            I have been a self declared Wiccan since the mid 1990's.  In 2004 a dedicant ceremony was performed by an HP (high priestess) for me.  I have studied the crafter for 14 years and find myself learning more and more about 'The Craft's' history.as of late.  When I was young the idea of gods and goddesses, magick, and spirits are what was interesting.  Now that I'm older, 29, the history of it has become so important.

           The book I recently picked up has had 3 editions (1979, 1986, and 2006).  The 1986 edition was republished with an updated Appendix in 1997. 

           While I find some pages to be difficult to read than others every bit of information is valuable.  The book goes into a deep rich history of a faith and a belief that has existed when cave paintings were a way of communicating.  The faith and religion has been called many names; been practiced in secret and in public.



   I am still reading the book and when I'm finished I'll be writing a follow up entry.  For anyone who is looking for a honest perspective without a lot of smoke and mirrors, I would highly recommend this book.

Kinda feeling a bit lost...

As of right now I am in Tampa, FL.  I'm really enjoying it and as the day draws to a close, I realize how much I am going to dislike having to leave tomorrow.

I think about what will be waiting for me in Huntsville, Al, and I have to say, a whole lot of nothing.  Right now I am waiting to hear back from my Naval recruiter if my educational requirements qualify for the military.  It's a bit of a nail biter process.  I am currently not working and I need to know where I stand.

Part of me misses massage therapy.  I went to school for it. Graduated with good grades and everything.  My clients that came to the school really liked me and my class mates loved what I could do for them.  "Why am I not pursuing this??" I ask myself constantly.

I feel like I should get a massage just to become familiar with it again.  I can massage my butt off but I feel that I've forgotten some things.  Receiving massage usually helps trigger the memory in this respect.

Not gonna lie, but I'm a whee bit scared.  But I need to stop being scared and I just need to do it.

Make a decision...I've got two roads....now I just need to pick one....

Love this article...I'm probably gonna buy the book...

If you get a chance to check out this article.  It's about a writer who chose to go through a "dry spell" with regards to sex for a year... The name of the book is Chastened by Hephzibah Anderson.

The article should be easy to find through internet search.  My computer won't allow me to cut and post link. blah.