6/14/09

Last night I saw Golden Boy. I honestly wanted to fall apart when I saw him.

My heart sunk into my stomach and then shot up into the sky. There are no words that could ever come close to how this man can cause me to feel into depths of my soul that I didn't even know I had.

I'm in love unlike anything I've ever experienced. I am finally for the first time in my life in love with a person, for that person. Not because I want to be in a relationship or because I don't want to be alone. It's because I want him.

It pushes me emotionally. Drives my blood racing through every part of my physical being. He causes my soul to ascend into realms of this Universe that I wasn't even sure existed. With him I feel like all things and anything is possible. There are no limits.

I feel like now, that I've found him, there is no one and nothing else. The only problem is he feels that he can't be with me. As I understand it, it has to do with him not allowing himself to be with anyone because of previous damage. He's afraid that he will destroy himself because of what happened last time he was in a relationship.

What frustrates me is I know that should he open himself to me, it would be the exact relationship he and I have always wanted.

Last night was incredible and frustrating. It was perfect and it was passionate. I could kiss him forever and hold him till my physical body gave way.

He and I both very stubborn but in complimentary ways. I won't let him get away with shit and he won't allow me to get away with shit. It would actually be funny to watch.

Something that I feel tears me apart though...is that if anyone.. saw us together... they would be moved to tears and smile... that I can feel...