Today was hard. Very very hard emotionally. I had encountered a memory and feelings from my past; from and event that took place 14 years ago.
It was all triggered by a man that I assisted at work. While at the check out counter, when I looked at him, I felt my heart begin to beat so fast I thought it was going to crack my sternum.
The I started having a mild panic attack. I kept the worst of contained until I was finished helping him. After he left I ran to the back room and started crying. I started shaking with intense fear.
The reason for the panic attack had to do with the gentleman looking almost exactly like a man who rapped me 14 years prior. Same blue eyes, same blonde hair, and even had the same type of face. This man was just a bit older (obviously).
I attempted to call one friend but unfortunately I received no response. Then I called my mother; I thought I'd find some comfort in such a call. Unfortunately after my conversation with her, I was left to my own resolve. I had to comfort myself. I had to talk myself down and pull myself together.
When the event happened, I was alone when I dealt with it. Funny thing, I was alone this time too.
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